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Shark Week

from Myths & Maladies (EP) by Dogwood

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about

My favorite party trick - teaching folks about the mindset behind menstruation.

lyrics

As everyone with cable knows
The discovery Channel has one of the best shows
It's full of guts and gore and comes around once every year
Like a Santa Claus that inspired my deep-sea fears...
But for females it holds another meaning
Guys shudder at the mention of it in polite company
Just imagine the behemoths of the ocean
Fighting to the death for domination...
Inside your vagina

Oh, it really sucks being a girl sometimes
When your hormones have gone apeshit and your friends all think you've lost your mind
When you hate and love your best friend in one night
(And then you rip 'em a new one)
And you wake up the next morning and wonder why
You went batshit crazy

Strangers should not inspire poetry
It's just your damn fucked-up biology
Like a chorus of dying cats in heat!
Except different I guess, because the last thing you want is sex
So I think I'll post a sign onto my rear
'Tread careful all ye who enter here'
There's sharks in the shallows and blood on the water
(Sorry, that was gross...)

Cuz it's Shark Week again!
Shark Week again
Once a month I eat all my friends
Shark Week again

Don't get between me and my chick flicks
I haven't cried since yesterday and I need my fix
Sitting in a dark room, a box of tissues and Sixth Sense
I lose it every time we find out Bruce Willis is dead!
So if you ever see a girl is stressing
Never ask the dreaded question 'Are you PMSing?'
It won't matter if you're right or wrong
If you want to save your life, just remember this song;

It's Shark Week again!
Shark Week again
Chocolate is my best friend
Shark Week again

Oh yes it's Shark Week again!
Shark Week again
A Falcon Punch to the ovaries that never ends
Shark Week again

Oh yes it's Shaaaaark
Weeeek
Agaaaaaaain!

credits

from Myths & Maladies (EP), released September 13, 2012
Vox/ukulele: Kate McKnight

Recorded by Aaron Shay

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Dogwood Seattle, Washington

Hailing from the hedge and loam of Seattle's undergrowth, this chimerical songbird aims to weave historical and wax hysterical in the old-new traditions of mountain men, shantymen, and their fellow men as they tromp and twirl acro'st both ancient myth and accidental malady. This mighty troubadour delights in bringing life to the voices of the past, so come and share a pomegranate seed or two! ... more

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